“Tact” – Personal Development Book Recommendation
A Little Booklet Full of Valuable Ideas
There’s a curious little booklet called “Tact” on our bookshelf at home. I think you might love it as much as I do. It’s pocket-sized, only 36 pages long, was published in 1933, and originally cost only 15 cents. It belonged to my husband’s late grandfather. I’ve flipped through this little book many times over the years, because it’s overflowing with practical wisdom. Tact is all about manners, kindness, character, and commitment to doing your best. I’ll share a few of the book’s gems in this blog article.
Tact was originally created as a thoughtful “advertising souvenir” for American businesses. In the 1930s, a company could purchase copies of these booklets, with their business name printed on the cover to give to customers and colleagues as a unique marketing tool.
Tact was written by Sir John Lubbock, with a long introduction by J. Clinton Ransom. Many other people are quoted throughout the booklet, especially S. M. Kennedy. This book is currently out-of-print and difficult to find. But occasionally I find vintage copies for sale on eBay and other lesser-known websites, usually for about $12. I highly recommend hunting down a copy of Tact to add to your bookshelf.
Tact begins with a dictionary definition of “tact”:
“A quick or intuitive appreciation of what is fit, proper or right; fine or ready mental discernment shown in saying or doing the proper thing, or especially in avoiding what would offend or disturb; skill of facility in dealing with men or emergencies.”
The booklet proclaims that tact is extremely important in life and business:
“No quality is more indispensably necessary in any walk of life.” -J. Clinton Ransom
I do agree. While I’m certainly not perfect in my application of tact, I often think to myself, “success in work and life is at least 51% getting along with people.” Tact is extremely valuable.
The booklet is full of many more great quotes; they linger in my mind for days after I read them. I wrote down all my favorites: there were 26. But I carefully whittled those down to my very favorite 10 quotes from Tact, which I’ll share with you here. You’ll find those words of wisdom from the book below, along with my thoughts and experience.
- “No knowledge that we ever acquire is so important as a knowledge of what to say and how to say it, of what to do and how to do it. It is the secret of success. It is the Golden Key to that which opens the door of opportunity. It gives ease and poise to an individual that no amount of learning can give and it carries more conviction than the strongest of moral principles.” -J. Clinton Ransom
In my experience, when I make a conscious effort to be tactful, I get the best results. Life is complicated and always changing. I don’t always succeed at being tactful. Occasionally, I’ve burnt myself and others with my own tactlessness. But in general, I do make a consistent, honest effort to handle people and life with tact. I feel better-equipped to handle everyday challenges because I give a lot of thought to embodying tact.
- “Tact often succeeds where force fails.” -Sir John Lubbock
It’s easier to persuade with honey than vinegar. I think it’s best to aim for win-win scenarios as a rule. Thanks to my parents, I frequently use the words “please,” “thank you,” “you’re welcome,” “thanks anyway,” and when appropriate, “I’m sorry.” My husband and I are teaching our son to do the same. These small words might seem trite, but I’ve found they communicate a lot of respect. Also, when making a request of another person, I find it’s best to respect their needs and desires, ask for their cooperation, and graciously accept a “no” when necessary. I go after what I want in life, but I try to avoid being demanding and pushy. If I catch myself being too forceful, I consciously back off, because my relationships are obviously more important than getting my way all the time.
- “It pays best from every point of view to be an honest-hearted gentleman. Therefore always be polite – not cringing or obsequious, but just plain polite, at all times, to all persons, old and young, learned and ignorant, rich and poor. The importance of this cannot be overestimated.” -J. Clinton Ransom
I think kindness is worthwhile for its own sake. All people are valuable. I really believe in equality; I’m not greater or lesser than anyone else. I enjoy interacting with all types of people, and I’m frequently delighted by my interactions with them.
- “Genuine courtesy is based upon a thoughtfulness of the feelings and rights of others. Some things are beyond our reach, but this, to a considerable degree, is within the attainment of all.” -J. Clinton Ransom
I think it’s important to support the happiness and success of others. Even small gestures go along way. Whenever possible, I try to let others know I appreciate them and want the very best for them. I try to cheer others on, give genuine compliments, celebrate their victories, and support them in tough times. I think even silently and secretly wishing someone well is worth something.
- “The courteous man cannot fail to attract friends and disarm enemies. It is the easy way to get along, represents no expenditure, yet never fails to yield handsome returns.” -S. M. Kennedy
I like to view the world as a friendly place, and I treat most everyone I meet as a friend, and it generally leads to good things. The amazing thing about tact is it’s absolutely free. But when you practice tactfulness, it makes you feel rich, no matter how much money is in your bank account. It feels good to interact with people with mutual respect. In business, I believe tact can positively effect the bottom line too. Employers, colleagues, and customers are more likely to want to do business with someone who consistently treats them well.
- “The world rarely puts a higher price upon a man than he places upon himself.” -S. M. Kennedy
I think it’s really important to give yourself credit for your own strengths, think big, and have the courage to make some magic happen. It seems to be true that “you become what you think about,” as Earl Nightingale says. So I’ve created some outrageously wonderful personal goals that sometimes seem over-the-top to me, but ultimately they are realistic. I make progress every day, and I encounter road blocks every day. So I’m moving forward, humbly but confidently, in the direction of my dreams. I know nothing in life in guaranteed, but I trust the universe will continue to cooperate with me and recognize the value I contribute.
- “He who can maintain an unruffled, gentlemanly bearing when the annoyances and perplexities of business life are crowding, is on the road to success.” -J. Clinton Ransom
Work and life get stressful sometimes. It’s unavoidable. In moments of frustration, I remind myself to stay calm, be courteous to people, and focus on arriving at a solution. I don’t always pull this off perfectly. But I try my best.
- “The great prizes of life do not fall to the most brilliant, to the cleverest, to the shrewdest, or to the best educated, but to the most level-headed men, to the men of the soundest judgement.” -S. M. Kennedy
I’ve noticed that many people who enjoy steady, long-term success tend to have a strong commitment to using common sense. It’s almost boring, but in a reassuring way. These people cultivate and protect their health, their wealth, and their relationships. Safety is important to them. By all means, education, intelligence, and talent are positives. But I think sound judgement is even more important. I have a natural tendency to run a little wild, so I’m constantly cultivating my ability to be level-headed.
- “Whoever determinedly sets about a business, has half accomplished it. Your motto must be ‘forward now.’ Do instantly whatever is to be done.” -Sir Walter Scott
In life, I think taking action is key to getting things done and altering reality. One of my personal mottos is “move the story forward,” meaning take action, and diligently complete the work at hand, so that I can move on to the next steps. Sometimes the next steps toward a goal only become apparent, when I’m deep in the middle of the work, or when a small step is completed. So determined action that “moves the story forward,” creates momentum, and makes inertia work in my my favor.
- “Sit, listen, and look on. Bystanders proverbially see most of the game; and you can notice what is going on just as well, if not better, when you are not noticed yourself.” -Sir John Lubbock
While action is important, so is time spent watching what’s unfolding in the world, listening, gathering information, processing it, and trying to make sense of it all. I think reflection is required for personal development, so we can make conscientious decisions about how we want to grow. Also, we all need downtime to recharge.
- “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” – Rousseau
Some of my goals can be achieved instantaneously, like being kind, hard-working, or having a good time. But some of my goals will take decades to accomplish, for example seeing my son become a well-balanced adult, becoming financially independent, or enjoying the free time of retirement. I certainly don’t want to rush through my life into the future; I want to enjoy every day along the way, and relish the moments as they pass. I know I can relax and greatly improve my odds of a bright future if I handle the present moment well, trust my plan, plant the right seeds, cultivate progress, and keep a level head.
- “The annals of successful men clearly demonstrate that all such men knew the value of cooperation.” -S. M. Kennedy
In life, I think it’s possible for everyone to be successful. Competition has its place, but I’m huge believer in cooperation. One of my favorite sayings is “a rising tide lifts all boats,” a phrase attributed to John F. Kennedy. Basically, we can win together. I think it’s an excellent idea to fortify the teams you work within, support others to achieve their goals, and graciously accept help for yourself.
Thank You for Reading
So those are some of my favorite highlights from Tact. Hope you enjoyed them! These ideas are inspiring to me. They make me think about how to live life well. I hope the ideas in Tact benefit you too. There’s a lot more great material in the book. If you want to read more, I encourage you to seek out a vintage copy of Tact for yourself.
Next Week: Learning to Enjoy Public Speaking – My Thoughts on the Good Life
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